Fix Your Mindset in Time for the Holidays

A big part of Performance Mindset Training is applying mental toughness skills to tangible obstacles like productivity at work or staying focused in school, but true mental toughness goes deeper than that. It requires a sense of gratitude and awareness in order to live the best life possible. This is most critical during the holidays… a time for love, compassion, and joy.

This is the time of year that’s meant to bring out the best in ourselves to serve others in our community. It’s also the time of year that triggers us most into feeling stressed, anxious, annoyed, and overwhelmed. This is the definition of the Default Mindset.

In the same way that physical success takes physical preparation, living in a state of Growth Mindset requires mental and emotional preparation. Mental skills, like any other skill, need to be developed and cultivated over time.  Practice these strategies to Fix Your Mindset daily:

1.)    Be Here Now – how often is what’s happening right now, in this very moment, the cause of your stress? How much more often is it that our anxious mindset creates future problems to worry about or past experiences to ruminate on? Notice 3 tangible things in your sightline, say what they are in your head while taking 3 deep breaths. Now that you’ve arrived where you are in this moment you can…

2.)    Gift Yourself Some Time

In the present moment you can start to realize how rushed we are when giving other people our time. In this way is it really what we have to do or the way we’re thinking about doing it that causes us stress? Give yourself some of your time so that you can think clearly and rationally in order to best…

3.)    Serve Others

As you’ve tuned into this moment and this present version of you, where can you make the greatest impact? How can you shift away from wanting and receiving to shift towards giving and creating? Take the answer to this question and use it to…

4.) Be the Best Version of You During the Holidays

Notice any mental resistance you have towards slowing down. Our thoughts often tell us that we need to be doing more in order to be good enough, but that’s not true. It’s just a bad habit that we’ve learned over time and the only way to break an old habit is to build a new one.

So give yourself a break when you’re stressed this holiday season. Start back at step 1 to build and create the best version of you and to Fix Your Mindset.

The Secret to Success

People ask me all the time, “What’s the secret?! How did you achieve success at such a high level?!” The answer….? There is no secret!

              The secret isn’t what to do. Most people watching a sporting event can see what the athlete needs to do. For example, in skating if you want to win races you have to know how to pass, lead, and defend. That’s obvious.

              Think of the last time you watched your favorite football team. Maybe your team was having a bad day and you screamed angrily at the tv, “You have to catch the ball!!!” Then the person you’re watching with chimes in and says, “the quarterback needs to learn how to throw!” These things are painfully obvious which is why they’re not the secret. 

              The secret isn’t how to do it. Coaches dedicate their lives to helping people understand the skills and develop the strength necessary to carry-out a specific task. The world’s best coaches can even modify their coaching language to teach based on each individual athlete’s learning style.

              Think of the unbelievable amount of information available to us at school, online, and from others. Think of the words of wisdom spoken to you by the greater influencers in your life. If the secret was knowledge we’d be knee deep in success by now.

              The secret is simple, but not easy… it’s actually DOING IT. It’s developing the mental skills to bring focus, resilience, confidence, and purpose to your work. It’s remembering what changes to make, how to make them, and taking action even when you’re overwhelmed, stressed, or tired. All of these skills can be developed through Mindset Training.

Of course, there’s a genetic factor that can hurt or help an individual in their quest. Luck, preparation, and resources also make a heavy impact. But think of the last time you saw an athlete, teammate, or friend put their heart on their sleeve and give their absolute, all out effort in an attempt to DO something. At that point you don’t have to come in first in order to win the race. You’ve won simply by having the courage to do what most people don’t.

              I’ll close with one of my favorite quotes… The Man in the Arena by Theodore Roosevelt.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”                         

                                                                                                     -Theodore Roosevelt

Obnoxious Positivity

If you have a goal and you’re willing to work for it then you know what it feels like when nothing goes right, no matter how hard you try. This is the point where Default Mindset comes in and tries to convince you to quit. Instead, use a mindset strategy called Obnoxious Positivity.

This is not to be confused with positive psychology or positive self-talk and should not be used interchangeably with these strategies. Obnoxious Positivity works best when saved for extreme moments like when:

-          Coach (or teacher/boss/parent) gives you a task that feels impossible to achieve

-          You’re at your wit’s end and you legitimately feel like quitting

-          No matter how hard you try you’re stuck taking one step forward, two steps back

If you’ve worked with me in person before you know that I tend to say one of two things… One, that the distinction between good and great is not what to do, but how to do it. And two, getting better happens on purpose, not by accident.

If you’re in a place where you need some Obnoxious Positivity then chances are that you already know what you need to do. It’s a matter of how are you going to do it?!

Write down 3 action items to get you started. It’s not important that you know where to start. It’s only important that you start somewhere and learn as you go.

Now, add some intention! Don’t go through the motions thinking you’ll get better. Work with the intention of getting better every rep, of every set, in order to achieve your goals someday. One of my favorite quotes is from an old teammate and 2014 Olympian, Kyle Carr. When watching a group of his teammates go through the motions on a workout he yelled, “Don’t just jump. Jump like you mean it!”

And add Obnoxious Positivity on the days you feel like you just want to quit. It won’t make your situation any easier, but it will give you the extra boost you need to do what it takes.

Examples include:

-          Personal mantras - When the voice in your head keeps saying that you can’t, fight back by saying (and feeling), ‘I can do anything. I will overcome this. I trust my ability to work hard and I will do whatever it takes’.

-          Visualization – Imagine what success looks, feels, and sounds like. During my hardest workouts I would motivate myself by visualizing what it would feel like to stand on top of the podium, to see my flag raised up, and to hear my national anthem.

-          Keep it Fun – Pushing through fatigue, doubt, and frustration isn’t fun. Make it fun by finding ways to laugh! Listen to your favorite comedian, watch a funny video, or think of an inside joke with a friend. This feels goofy, but doing what it takes means you have to finish doing the work no matter how hard it is. Feeling goofy is a fair trade when the other option is letting your Default Mindset convince you to give up early.