People > Process > Pride > Performance is a formula that I have learned to live by during my time as a coach.
As an athlete the formula was Performance < Performance < Performance < Performance. I always had to be achieving bigger and better things just to feel proud of myself. You can imagine that that was an exhausting way to live my life.
Every meal had to be perfectly nutritious, every sleep had to be better than the last, and every workout had to be made for the record books. It’s no wonder I was physically broken and mentally unstable by the end of the 2010 Olympics.
Looking back, it was my family that made my performances special. Winning Olympic medals was fun, but sharing the medals was what brought me happiness. It was several years after retiring from competition that I learned to prioritize my relationships.
Positive relationships create a strong foundation for superior mental health.
When I came back from injury in 2016 it had been an entire 4 years since I had competed in the sport of Short Track Speedskating. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to pick my team, my rink, and my coach. This time, with new priorities, I started with the right people first.
My coach, teammates, and sport psychologist taught me how to follow a process I was proud of. For the first time I was pursuing achievement based on my own happiness rather than on the expectations of everyone else. This process included learning the mental skills needed to improve my health and my life.
Pursuing pride through effort was more fulfilling than waiting for a good performance to feel proud of myself. Trusting this process gave me confidence regardless of whether or not I won a race. As legendary UCLA basketball coach, John Wooden, says, “Success is peace of mind knowing you did your best.” So next time you’re looking for improved performance, start with people first.
Can you think of three people you’re grateful for and why? If so, tell each of them in person this week and begin to experience the effect that healthier, happier relationships can have on your performance.